We are a husband and wife who have been entrusted with six precious children. Three walk this earth with us. Three are with the Lord. One was just placed in our arms barely a year ago.
Of the three living, two are adopted. The Lord wove our family together in ways we did not plan, on a timeline we did not choose, with a story we never would have written for ourselves — and we would not trade a single page of it.
We have buried babies we will not get to raise. We have brought home children we did not give birth to. We have rocked a newborn whose existence is its own quiet miracle. Through all of it, the most consistent struggle in our home has not been grief, or finances, or career, or even health. It has been paying attention to the one relationship that mattered most after Jesus — our marriage.
We measured everything else. Bank account balances. Net worth statements. Project pipelines. Step counts. We tracked our calories and our calendars and our retirement contributions and our stock portfolios. But we never sat down together — pen on paper, both of us at the same table — and asked: what kind of marriage are we building? What kind of home? What is the Lord asking of us this season, this week, today?
The marriage we said we wanted on our wedding day was not the marriage we were actually building five years in. Not because we had drifted into something terrible, but because we had drifted into something unmeasured. Goals can hide. Drift is quiet. The borrower is servant to the lender — and we discovered the same is true of every part of life left unattended.
So we began to write the vision. Not on a napkin, not as a mental note, but on the tables of our home — six pillars across which we would set goals together, walk them out daily, and reflect on every week. We called them the Six Fs. Faith. Family. Friendships. Fitness. Finances. Fun.
What changed when we measured them is hard to overstate. Our prayer life. The quality of our conversations. How we spent on Friday nights. What we said yes to and what we finally said no to. The pattern of our weeks and the texture of our home.
We are not pastors. We are not therapists. We are a husband and wife who have walked through real things and found that what gets measured gets inspired — and that the marriage God gave us deserves at least as much measurement as our 401(k).
We built the 6F System so we could keep doing this ourselves, faithfully, week after week. We are sharing it because we believe the Lord is calling more marriages into the same rhythm — not out of pressure, but out of joy. Out of being together, on purpose, before Him.
If your marriage is worth living for, it is worth measuring.
We hope this tool serves you and your spouse the way it has served us. We hope your home becomes a place where the vision is plain on the table, where the children see their parents pursuing the Lord together, and where the joy of the Lord is your strength.
— In Christ,
the family who built this